I'm a sucky blogger. I admit it. Openly. Unabashedly. My goal is to get better...typically, I'm pretty goal-oriented, so hopefully it goes somewhere... ;) And the sad part is that I really don't have any *good* excuses. I don't have a job. I don't have kids. My time is spent contemplating the speed at which the earth orbits. Maybe not, but still....
(And in my defense, I've started at least 3 blogs in Word...but at the same time, I've finished none of them. Nada. Zero. Zip. *sigh*)
ANYWHO!
This is more of a serious post...and I'm not by nature a super-serious person. I'm one of those people who knows how to act in different situations. I'm professional in the workplace and other situations when I need to be, but I'm also a fairly lighthearted individual, so this blog will typically NEVER be super-serious....apparently, today's a rarity....
I'm at a crossroad in life. I have been basically unemployed for almost 6 months now...though I did work for a few weeks this past summer. And it's been REALLY HARD. Don't get me wrong...I love to veg out on occasion, but I've always loved working. I got my first job at an Orange Julius when I was 15, and it was glorious. (Ok, maybe not "glorious"....but I was an overachiever that made "Student Manager" within 2 months of employment, I liked the peeps that I worked with for the most part, and I could make a mean smoothie....I was the prima "BLENDTENDER"...and I didn't make that word up, by the way...You may know that someone who makes coffee is a barista, and similarly, someone who makes Orange Julius products is a blendtender...lol) I used to work year round....I didn't take vacations. EVER. I had my first one in almost ten years two years ago. It was fab. But when I left my job with the shady government of SC this past spring, I NEVER anticipated that I would be without work for SO LONG. I figured that since I knew I was doing what God wanted me to do by leaving, I would have a job shortly. For anyone who isn't familiar with this situation, basically, there was some unethical behavior happening at my job, and I was the only one willing to report it/stand up for what I believed in...(I DID have another job for two weeks after that, but that was also an entirely shady situation that I'm still a bit bitter about too...*sigh*) But as the days have gone by, I go through little spasms of fear.
Yes, FEAR. I am a total believer that God will and DOES take care of His children. If you have faith in God, He WILL take care of you. And yet...sometimes, I still get uneasy. It's hard to use up all of your savings and take out credit card advances just to live from month to month. But I still have faith that He will provide...Jehovah Jireh. At the same time, I have my days of uncertainty. And then I wonder if part of the problem is where I am. For a number of months, I've had somewhat of a strong feeling that He has wanted to move me back to VA. Don't get me wrong...I love VA. I just do. I lived there when I was little and then went to college there...and then moved back to work for the alma mater a year after graduation. But then I decided to move back to SC to be closer to the family. One of the main reasons I did that was because I have three kiddos (a nephew and two nieces) that mean the WORLD to me, and it was very difficult for me to be away from them. And at the time, they were fairly young...8, 6, and 4 (7, 5, and 3 when I lived up there working for a year). And it was heartbreaking...I would come home for a weekend, and I would be holding/hugging one of them, and they would ask me where I always went to for such a long time and would also ask me to stay. They had a very difficult time understanding that I lived in a different state, and that's why I only got to see them once a month or so. But now they're bigger...and they don't live next door...and we no longer see them every week. So...my living out of state wouldn't be as big of a deal now...
Don't get me wrong. That's not the only reason I've felt the tug to go up North. It's just been this...feeling...I've had. And I often wonder if that's why it's taking me so long to find a job...because the one He wants for me isn't here. I hate moving. I feel like I've done it SO MUCH in my lifetime....but convenience is incomparable to following the will of God. We shall see what happens...I'll keep you posted ;)
So...if you're a pray-er, if you want to send one up for me, it's much appreciated :) Just need a little bit of direction....
My great-aunt Mearle passed away this morning. It wasn't shocking...she's had really poor health for the last few years, and to be frank, though I'm sad that she's gone, I'm SO glad that she was able to leave this old world behind....because she had a better one to go to :) However, I do find myself remember little things about her...the way she loved cats (and collected cat everything) and I Love Lucy, how she and my Grandma always went to the hair salon every week to "get their hair did" (lol)...how when I was little, I would always go into her bedroom and watch TV with her on her bed (I was the only one allowed in). And it just made me think about my Grandparents. I wonder what its's like...being the oldest living individuals in your families...kind've gave me a bit of a shake. And it also reminded me that no matter how crazy my family is (and trust me, mine has gotten crazier and CRAZIER...especially within the last year and a half), they're still FAMILY....and I HEART them :)
On that note, I'm gonna bounce...my goal is to *TRY* to post at least once a day this week...and trust me, it'll be GRRRRREEEAAATTT!!!!!
Later Days!
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